Are You A Confident Person?

Self-confidence – let’s just say some of us are born with it, and for others it can take almost a lifetime to achieve.

In business it can be vital, being confident in yourself is infectious, if you present yourself well, others will want to follow in your foot steps towards success.

Unfortunately many of us are not as self-confident as we should be. Many successful people, regardless of the success they have achieved, don’t believe in themselves. Are you sabotaging yourself through your lack of self-confidence?

• Avoiding doing certain things because you fear your ability to cope.
• Covering your lack of confidence by pretending, to hide the way you really feel.
• Withdrawing from other people in certain situations
• Regularly thinking negative thoughts about yourself and your abilities.

When taking on more responsibilities in the workplace, this can also be a test of one’s self-confidence, whether it is being confident in the new role, confidence to deliver the project adequately, or just overall being confident in front of your colleagues. I know for myself I have had to develop my own self-confidence as I have faced new challenges. I have taken on many different roles and positions of authority within the workplace, and when dealing with colleagues and clients, I have had to learn to grow and adapt in each new challenge, and as some of these positions had a certain aspect of ‘sales’, if I didn’t project myself in a confident manner, the sale would not be made. I’ve even had to develop the confidence to pursue a new career path, which for anyone is a big step outside of the comfort zone.

I have had to learn to be more self-confident with each new challenge that I have faced. Steven Berglas from Forbes outlines this development of self-confidence as two phases:

Phase 1 – Eliminating Self-Doubt

1. Understand it’s origins – Stemming from childhood, since no one can live up to the standards set by ego ideals, we spend the rest of our lives (to greater or lesser degrees), plagued by doubt. This is irrational, of course, but true.
2. Accept it – There’s a school of psychotherapy—called “acceptance therapy”—based on the insight that admitting you suffer from a problem reduces the distress it can cause.
3. Fess up – Chances are that real acceptance won’t kick in without sharing your anxiety with someone you trust. Think you’ll flub a presentation? Give one to friends.
4. Look at the facts – If a claustrophobic person gets stuck in an elevator, it’s hard for them to focus on the certainty that, any minute now, it will be moving again. Fear and panic simply take over. The same tendency is true with self-doubt, but unlike with claustrophobia, a few hard facts can help. Example: If you’ve been promoted somewhat recently, remind yourself why you were tapped. Make a list of all your valuable skills and accomplishments.

Phase 2 – Boosting Self Confidence

1. Know that nothing is inherently threatening – A dreadful event can be made manageable if you tell yourself you have the stuff to cope with it. Remember that.
2. Confront your fear – Fear, no matter its source, is a formidable adversary. That’s why you have to pick a fight with it. William Jennings Bryan claimed, “The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear.”
3. But choose your battles – If you pick the battles you engage in because you believe in their aims, your self-confidence will increase along with your winning percentage.
4. Once you master something, stretch – Add more challenge to every task you tackle and your self-confidence will grow in lockstep. Level off for too long and you’ll be on the slick slope to burnout.

Have you always been a confident person? If not, what measures did you have to take to achieve where you wanted to go within the workplace?